To the tune of "The Ballad of Jed Clampett" by Paul Henning
J.D. Waggoner, Class of '94
listen to the story 'bout a deal that's new
Instead of going to classes, the school comes to you.
It's all about computers and satellite TV
And that's how we got to USC...
Grad school, that is....South Carolina/Distance Ed
It's the fall of '92 and we're sitting in our
With each new class another challenge
Now it's graduation time and we've made
Well now it's time to say good-bye to
you and all our kin,
For USC's CLIS class of '95 -8/12/95-
Julie and Jerry Speigler
school, how tough can it be, we'll start with Dr. Dan,
You say you want what? And want it by when? I think
they're serious, man.Then comes the spring, with Dr. Bob,
with charts and curves mystic, I don't care, if you deny
it again, this class is statistics.
But wait this one, she always smiles, you seem so sweet Ms. Pat,If you believe, my intellect if free, why can't my answer be that? Next at bat it's Dr. Chuck, with his ODAPCOSRIU chant, I know LSCA, even ALA, but what is this SOB grant?
Then Lois came, with Technical skills, and precision like a clock, The collection developed, by OCLC, all safe in the disaster box. Oh Linda, Linda, can it really be true, these Academics you describe, Where faculty wait, for librarians to serve, I think I'd rather die.
Computers, Chris? How could they miss? I guess there'll be no rest, History of, and Dialog, hype your media or your text. Ah, Miss Ellen, and her CR too, only she could show us how, With a little MARC, a delimiter or two, to catalog a musical cow.
Wait Liz, no, not computers again, is this what we deserve? Dialog again, telnet your gopher, four attempts to subscribe to the listserv. Children's books, some without words, in others we talk to raccoons, But really, Pam, 'cept for "George and Martha," they can all Jump Over the Moon.
TW3, Kenny Rogers career, the name of an old Irish elf, Dr. Linda thinks, it's a Treasure Hunt, but she's just kidding herself. Now Pat, you know they're young adults, you must know what I mean, They're not reading Myers or Hinton, or Peck, they're into "Playboy" Magazine.
"Libraries, Libraries," South Carolina's rebel yell, Once again, we mountaineers are free, for we made our way through hell!
August 10, 1995